8.29.2010

Struggling...

I really been struggling lately. I feel like as if I'm walking, when I try to take a step forward, my foot just seems to dangle there in midair, trying to figure out which way to go. Then, out of nowhere, Julie starts to listen to my favorite Relient K cd 'Mhmm', and it goes to this one song called 'More than Useless'. It never ceases to amaze me how God can talk to me through the smallest things. I've listened to this sone numerous times but it never really affected me before the way it does now. Thank you God for never giving up on me or stop loving me.

"More Than Useless"

I feel like, I would like
To be somewhere else doing something that matters
And I'll admit here, while I sit here
My mind wastes away and my doubts start to gather

Whats the purpose? It feels worthless
So unwanted like I've lost all my value
I can't find it, not in the least bit
and I'm just scared, so scared that I'll fail you

And sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all
And sometimes I wonder why, why I'm even here at all
But then you assure me

I'm a little more than useless
And when I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once

So I say if I can't, do something significant
I'll opt to leave most opportunities wasted
And nothing trivial, that life could give me will
Measure up to what might have replaced it

Too late look, my date book
Is packed full of days that were empty and now gone
And I bet, that regret
Will prove to get me to improve in the long run

And sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all
And sometimes I wonder why, why I'm even here at all
But then you assure me

I'm a little more than useless
And when I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once

I’m a little more than useless
And I never knew I knew this
Was gonna the day, gonna be the day
That I would do something right
Do something right for once

I notice, I know this
Week is a symbol of how I use my time
Resent it, I spent it
Convincing myself the world's doing just fine
Without me
Doing anything of any consequence
Without me
Showing any sign of ever making sense
Of my time , it's my life
And my right, to use it like I should
Like he would, for the good
Of everything that I would ever know

I'm a little more than useless
When I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once

I’m a little more than useless
And I never knew I knew this
Was gonna the day, gonna be the day
That I would do something right
Do something right for once

1 comment:

Jenny said...

Sorry you're struggling Nelly! :( I have struggled with feeling that also...feeling useless and like I'm never doing anything right.
I've never heard this song, but I'm glad that He gave you it to remind you that He loves you and that won't ever give up on you!

Love you bunches!